(Officer Paul is walking around the streets of Upstate New York when Nessie comes running up to him about her handbag being stolen.)
Nessie: (Running in from stage right) Help! Help! My bag! He took my bag! Officer! Help!
Officer Paul: What’s going on ma’am? How can I help?
Nessie: (Pointing in the direction she came from) He stole my bag!
Paul: (Looking at the direction she is pointing in) Who?
Nessie: That guy! (Still pointing)
Paul: (Still looking in the direction) What did he look like?
Nessie: He was wearing a shirt, pants, and converse and had a pony tail or maybe it was a buzz cut!
Paul: (Confused) How can you confuse a pony tail and a buzz cut?
Nessie: (Rolling her eyes) Oh, I don’t know. Fine then, he had hair.
Paul: (Shaking his head) Ma'am can you be more descriptive?
Nessie: Okay. His hair was kind of dark, kind of light. He was either wearing a button down or a polo shirt and he had on black pants and a watch.
Paul: (Taking out notebook and a pen) Was he African-American, Caucasian, Asian or Indian?
Nessie: He was a human being! What does it matter what race he was? (Getting annoyed)
Paul: It matters because I need to get an idea of what he looked like! (Getting even more annoyed)
Nessie: He reminded me of a polar bear!
Paul: So then he was white? (Continues writing)
Nessie: Polar bears can be any color!
Paul: No, they can’t. (He stops writing and looks at her like she’s crazy)They are all white.
Nessie: What is it with you and color?
Paul: What direction was he going in?
Nessie: That way (Pointing in the direction she was running from), or was it that way? (She points in another direction) Hmm, what way did I come from?
Paul: Please, ma'am, make up your mind.
Nessie: Fine, that way. (Points in a completely different direction)
Paul: Where were you coming from? (Continues writing)
Nessie: The grocery store on Brickinham Avenue and Walt Street.
Paul: What color is your handbag? What did it look like? (Continues writing)
Nessie: It looked like, uhmmm… (She looks down at her hand) Oh, it looked just like this one. (She holds up her handbag)
Paul: Then isn’t that your handbag?
Nessie: (She looks surprised) Oh my goodness, you found it! Thank you so much! (She gives Officer a hug) You’re a genius! I’m calling your boss and telling him to give you a promotion!
Paul: (He puts his notebook and pen away) Ma'am your handbag was with you this entire time!
Nessie: I guess it was. Then maybe my handbag didn’t get stolen… It was my grocery bag!
Paul: Umm, Why don’t you go home, and relax. (He pats her on her shoulder) I will go looking for your groceries that I’m guessing are in a blue plastic bag like the one in your other hand!
Nessie: Oh, thank you Officer! (She begins digging through her bag in search of a pen and paper)Don’t you need my number to call me to let me know when you find my stuff?
(Paul is walking away)
Nessie: (Takes out a pen and paper and looks around for Officer Paul) --Officer?!