This is how people
usually like me. Like how I was in the past, during my naïve stage. Before I found
out the truth about life, and before everything began to clear up. The sky is
beautiful and blue and the air is crisp, except over by the chickens and goats near
the theater. Over there smells like rotten eggs, but it doesn’t bother me on a
day like this. A day when everything is looking up for me. A day when I feel so
in control of my life and things go as planned with no unfortunate
circumstances. I feel as though I can jump of a high cliff into an ocean with
unexpected slabs of pointy rocks, and then be the person who miraculously
survives. The lucky one, the blessed one, the one whose life is wonderful and
amazing and just great. I love days like these. I wake up with a smile on my
face and gently press the off button on my alarm clock, instead of throwing it
across my room as I usually do every morning. This happy feeling, this blissful
feeling, this idyllic feeling, this serene feeling, has truly been missed. By
others as well as myself. It’s odd to be feeling this way, after all I did go
through a long IDGAF phase where I cared about nothing at all greeted everything
with anger and irritation. I was practically chasing people out of my life, and
now I want to get them back. I’m in a better place, I don’t know how I got
there, I don’t know what I did, I don’t anything, all I know is that I’m here,
and I’m just happy. I’m content with my life; I wouldn’t change much about it
if I had the opportunity too. The trees looks beautiful, they no longer
obstruct my view. The flowers still smell bad, I have never enjoyed their
fragrance, but I’m appreciating their beauty today. I can laugh at a joke and
honestly say that it was funny. Smiling doesn’t feel fake. I can compliment my
friends and actually mean what I say. I hope this feeling lasts for a while.
There is always a longer interval between these phases, so I’m scared that I
won’t feel this happy again for another few weeks, maybe even a month. I’m just
going to take in every moment and enjoy it, while it lasts.